by Valerie Harkins, Director of the Maternity Housing Coalition
After a busy spring and summer traveling to maternity homes across the country and internationally, and meeting with ministry leaders, my season of travel has come to an end. What a journey it has been! Over the past six months, I’ve visited 14 homes, trained with more than 75 housing staff members, and consulted with 132 maternity housing leaders. I am deeply humbled by the spirit of generosity and humility that defines the culture of maternity housing. You, the leaders who welcome women into your homes, continue to inspire me. I am grateful for all I’ve learned from you as I remain a dedicated student of this important movement. Thank you!
A Surprising Shift
I’ve returned home equipped with new strategies and insights on the latest trends in maternity homes—trends that serve as a forecast for what many homes may soon experience. One of the most concerning trends is the rising number of residents considering—and in some cases choosing—abortion while living in the home. This has been a surprising shift, as maternity homes have traditionally served women who had already decided to continue their pregnancies. But times are changing, and as strong and resilient maternity homes committed to fulfilling our missions, we must adapt as well.
We are seeing that residents may consider abortion even after moving into the home and declaring their decision to continue their pregnancy. Sometimes this is a private struggle due to fear of judgment, but in some cases, residents openly express their indecision. Leaders in maternity housing have observed this shift as access to abortion becomes easier overall with the abortion pill, varying legislation in states, and as social acceptance or even praise of abortion has grown.
In cases where residents have chosen abortion while living in the home, this decision is often made in secret, particularly when it involves a subsequent pregnancy. Common reasons residents report for choosing abortion in secret include fear of losing their place in the home, fear of disappointing staff, or feeling overwhelmed at the thought of having another child. The abortion pill is the most commonly used method, as residents report that it’s accessible even in states with restrictive abortion laws. In less common cases, residents have chosen surgical abortions when the pregnancy is too far along for the pill. These decisions are usually kept private until after the abortion has occurred, and residents often speak about their experiences only when they struggle with unexpected grief and emotional pain—feelings they may not have anticipated given the largely positive messages about abortion they’ve heard from the media.
A Path Forward
A recurring theme among these residents is fear, confusion, and silence. In many cases, staff members have found that talking more openly about abortion can ease the tension and even help residents begin healing. This signals a new era for maternity homes, where we must be prepared and confident to have these difficult conversations and make abortion a topic that can be approached with love and compassion.
As housing staff become more comfortable discussing abortion, I’ve included an excerpt below from Heartbeat’s "Talking About Abortion" manual that applies the basics of the L.O.V.E. Approach to this sensitive topic.
Additionally, we’ve provided two free, valuable resources: information on Abortion Pill Reversal and details on an upcoming online training to equip staff with the latest information and skills to support residents in their pregnancy decisions.
L.O.V.E. and Truth: Training to Be a Helper
L.O.V.E.
♥ L stands for Listen and Learn - get to know the client and her situation thoroughly, work to help her feel “safe” to talk and share, not “judged” by you for her behavior or circumstances, and develop a relationship with her.
♥ O stands for Open Options - discuss her alternatives thoroughly and help her see that she is at a crossroads and does have paths to choose from, help her see which opportunities may lead her toward danger.
♥ V stands for Vision and Value - introduce a “new vision” for her, a way to see her situation differently, and the value she has in God’s eyes.
♥ E stands for Extend and Empower - offer concrete help and continuing support, including referrals and your own organization’s programs, help her plan an alternative, and take a step in a positive direction).
The L.O.V.E. Approach means also that LOVE (God) is our source and L.O.V.E. is our method.
This method is best expressed in St. Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians (I Cor. 13:1-7, NIV):
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”
Free Resources
Abortion Pill Reversal
- Abortion Pill Reversal 101
- Abortion Pill Rescue - A Case Series Detailing the Successful Reversal of the Effects of Mifepristone Using Progesterone
- The Right to Choose Reversal
- Abortion Pill Rescue Network
Recorded Webinar
Her Plan: Presenting Benefits to Homes - FREE!
Presented by Chaney Mullins Gooley and Gina Tomes
Join Her PLAN (Her Pregnancy and Life Assistance Network) to discover the seven primary reasons why women choose abortion and find out how to get your organization listed in the Her PLAN directory. Presenters Chaney Mullins Gooley and Gina Tomes will also discuss how to effectively utilize the directory for partnerships and referrals, ensuring that your clients have access to a wide range of resources.
